We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Of course I have a pirate flag
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
