went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
