Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
