Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
