he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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