I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Barsexuality is the new black.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
