Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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