how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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