The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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