areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
