margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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