i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
