Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
