Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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