Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
