Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
