I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
