I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
