Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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