No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
