Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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