are you still at the devil's house?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
