Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
