i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
