Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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