I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
