Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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