I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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