Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
