Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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