im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
