I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
