the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
