I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
