It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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