We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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