I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
