btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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