when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
