Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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