Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
