You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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