Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
