I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
