The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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