Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
