I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
