Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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