Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
