this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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