Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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